HOW NOT TO BE A PEOPLE PLEASER

I may not know all the secrets to success. However, I do know that one of the secrets to failure is trying to please everyone!!!

If you have a people pleaser pattern, you have a pattern to try and fit into the description that people have of you, which might not necessary be you. So you live this mediocre unhappy life and you wonder why you’re not progressing forward. The way I see it, people pleasing is a disease, and just like all diseases, if you don’t treat it early enough, it is going to kill you!! I mean it!!Perhaps not a physical death, but an emotional, psychological and even a spiritual death. Being a yes person is simply exhausting.

So when you find yourself slowly turning into a yes person remember:

 1.    You were created for a purpose

All human beings were created for a purpose. That purpose does not involve living your life to please others. On the contrary, humans were created to please God, not man.  Seek your purpose, follow your heart and do what makes you happy, that which pleases God 

2.  Not everyone appreciates all that you do

Understand that human beings can be ungrateful, selfish and self centered. So, no matter how nice, how kind, how caring and giving you are, there will ALWAYS be someone who doesn’t appreciate what you do. There will be someone who will negatively criticize what you do. Do not take such criticism to heart. Be good, be kind, be giving and caring to the best of your ability and move on.  

  3. Have a set of principles that you stand for.

If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.  Drawing a ‘do not cross’ line in the sand and communicating it indicates how far you are willing to go, what you are willing to do and what is simply not acceptable in your books.

  

4.  Learn to say No with no apologies

People pleasers have a problem saying NO! They often feel guilty and bad about saying no. So the alternative is saying yes to all requests. The problem with being a ‘Yes Person’ is you cannot simply deliver on all your promises. The end result is an over-whelmed individual who is not only unhappy but will eventually end up disappointing all the people he said yes to. Avoid spreading yourself too thin. If you can’t handle a task, why agree to take it up in the first place?

5. Accept yourself, flaws and all

Most people pleasers suffer from low self esteem and the constant need to seek the approval of others. When God created the universe, He looked back at all that he had created and it was perfect, it was good. The minute you accept yourself for who you truly are is the minute you stop people from walking all over you. There is no one like you in the entire universe. If you do not love yourself, how can you even claim to know love?